Short Fiction by Russell Twyce
A Government Pension at Twenty Five
- A solo short story and included in the Nicholas Flamel’s Humanity Series
“According to this file,” a government bureaucrat set a reverent palm flat on the open folder,
“you’ve been collecting old-age security checks for the past five years. Yet you are obviously a man in your early 20’s.”
“Chronologically,” the young man dug out his wallet, “and by my government issued identification cards, I have just passed my 70th birthday.” He offered up the proof.
Then this has to be either forged or in error.” The government agent stated after he had intensely scrutinized the document. “What year were you born in?”
“I was born in 1940 and I aged normally until 1985, when I discovered the secret of eternal youth. From then to now, I’ve been growing younger, instead of older.”
“My year of birth was 1955.” The civil servant announced in a mocking tone. With grey hair and many facial wrinkles, his physical appearance exactly matched his 55 years of age. “And you are NOT fifteen years older than I am. So let’s get to the real truth of this situation.”
“The honest truth is exactly as I’ve said. You can look into my tax records or you can have the police fingerprint me and compare the result against any government files you can drag up. I was born in 1940 and I am currently seventy years of age.”
“You didn’t invent the secret of immortality.” The pension official scoffed. “I should think that such a discovery, if proven, would’ve made an international news splash. I don’t recall hearing anything about it in 1985 or since.”
“I didn’t seek any publicity and I didn’t care if anyone verified my results or not.”
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“Right.” The disbelieving government man said in a sarcastic voice. “So you actually are seventy and you fully expect me NOT to cancel your old age security benefits?”
“Correct.”
“And I suppose your cute wife over there,” with a nod he indicated a young woman in the waiting area, “is fast approaching sixty-five?”
“My girlfriend there is twenty-two. My wife passed away awhile before I uncovered the secret of Nicholas Flamel’s philosopher stone.”
“Does she know that you’re seventy?”
“Absolutely.” The young looking old man smiled. “She appreciates my maturity and experience, while still being able to enjoy the physicality and vitality of my second twenties.”
“Philosopher’s Stone and Nicholas Flamel?” The scoffing of a minute ago had been replaced with a pang of envy: whether the old-age pension claimant was 25 or 70, that girl was certainly a knockout. “You’ve obviously been to a Harry Potter movie.”
“JK Rowling didn’t invent either the name of Nicholas Flamel or the philosopher’s stone idea. Nicholas was an alchemist born in 1330 and he returned to his youth after learning of the philosopher’s stone from an ancient manuscript.”
“And I suppose you know this for a fact.”
Definitely. Nicholas Flamel is a friend of mine. He contacted me after he deduced that someone else had achieved his eternal youth secret. Nick is a cool old guy, who looks like he is twenty. He thought it was hilarious that he was immortalized, off camera, in the movies. But the author has no clue that Flamel really is still alive.”
“I suppose he collects an old-age pension too?” The bureaucrat jotted down the name: he would look it up in his files later.
“No. Nicholas is an alchemist. Whenever he needs money, he turns lead into gold.”
“Since you have his eternal youth secret, why doesn’t he give you the transmutation tips too?
Then you wouldn’t need to keep your pension.”
“Nicholas has his thing and I have mine. When he was born, there wasn’t a public pension plan in place, so he needs to make gold. I paid years worth of exorbitant taxes to earn my retirement income, so I’ll use it for my ‘golden years’ and I’ll keep collecting it for a VERY long time.”
“Unless I stamp your file as a fraud and cancel it.”
“On what grounds?” The young man asked in a resolute voice. “The proof of my age and even the ‘before’ and ‘after’ pictures are iron-clad in your department of motor vehicles. The stored license photos will show me growing older until 1985 and then progressively younger until my most recent one.”
“On grounds that I work for the Federal Government and can therefore do whatever I want to you and your case!”
“With impunity.” The young man added through pursed lips. He bit his tongue from saying what was really on his mind. ‘And that mentality is precisely why I haven’t shared the gift of eternal youth with everyone.’ “But that political superiority will not live on forever.”
“Your life won’t be much longer than mine.” The agent misconstrued the comment as personal instead of global. “How long do you have before a return to infancy?”
“Your facts all seem to come from fiction.” It was now the younger man’s turn for the mocking tone. “I’m not living a backwards life, as the ‘Curious Case of Benjamin Button’. I’ve rejuvenated as far as I want to, so I’ll stop using my philosopher stone. I’ll age normally until I choose to start growing younger again.”
“And then what?”
“I’ll make another philosopher stone.”
“What does an eternal youth granting philosopher stone look like?” The middle-aged man excitedly inquired. He was suddenly buying into the young man’s story – and he imagined himself as becoming the same.
“Exactly like this.” The man with seeming eternal youth pulled a white stone from his pocket. It was of a pyramid shape with rounded points.
“I suppose you’ll want to be eighteen again.” The government guy’s eyes flicked askance to the ageless man’s 22-year-old sweetheart: if available to him, the 55-year-old with lecherous tendencies would want even younger girls.
“Nah. I’m happy now and my looking even younger would present more problems. I went to a bar recently and was asked to show proof of age. The bouncer noticed the disparity between my eternally youthful looks and my official age. It turned nastier when the doorman called over the police who were patrolling. They wanted to charge me with using false ID but their computers confirmed who I was.”
“That incident landed you on my scope. The cops were not pleased with the outcome, so they furthered the information up the line. And as a fraud investigator, your case landed on my desk.” Then the government official stressed a sentence. “Where on my whim, I can approve or deny the status of your old-age pension.”
“I see that.” The young pensioner said flatly.
“But I am interested in learning more about your philosopher stone.” The agent lightened the atmosphere with a perky voice. “How does it work? Do you use it continually? Is it fully automatic?”
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“Is it really a gift,” he asked in a wry voice, “or is eternal youth a curse? Flamel has been waiting 700 years in the hope of seeing a society that is worth enduring.”
The End
Author notes: This story is fiction but I sincerely believe that a true philosopher’s stone is possible and that Nicholas Flamel could’ve produced one even with the technology available in the 1300’s. I’ve written a few opinion articles and blog posts on the topic of eternal youth and the theory under a philosopher stone.
Click to read the Akashic Records – The book of ALL knowledge
Which Do You REALLY Want: Eternal Life or Eternal Youth?
The terms eternal life and eternal youth seem to mean the same but they are not. Eternal life means being deathless and ironically, that does occur on death. So the only way to gain eternal life is to die, which is counterproductive if you’re just looking for longevity. Yes, that statement sounded humorous, but I meant it quite literally and truthfully.
Eternal youth, on the other hand, is attainable in life. [Content protected for Chevron members only]
“I would NOT choose death and eternal life by that way: I WANT eternal youth!”
Did that statement mirror your reaction to the above paragraph? I would suggest that you don’t know yourself as well as you might think that you do. Look at life around you: people hate living. [Content protected for Chevron members only]
Your death wish ages and ultimately kills you. Yes, animals age and die too but other creatures don’t have [Content protected for Chevron members only]
“I don’t have a death wish! And I would like eternal life!”
(Almost) everyone shares the death wish and you’re lying to yourself about not having it – and you KNOW it. Have you ever entertained a suicide notion? Even a passing one? Do you smoke? Do you gamble or engage in other self-destructive activities like over-eating? [Content protected for Chevron members only]
A Government Pension at Twenty Five
Short Fiction by Russell Twyce
“According to this file,” a government bureaucrat set a reverent palm flat on the open folder, “you’ve been collecting old-age security checks for the past five years. Yet you are obviously a man in your early 20’s.”
“Chronologically,” the young man dug out his wallet, “and by my government issued identification cards, I have just passed my 70th birthday.” He offered up the proof.
Then this has to be either forged or in error.” The government agent stated after he had intensely scrutinized the document. “What year were you born in?”
“I was born in 1940 and I aged normally until 1985, when I discovered the secret of eternal youth. From then to now, I’ve been growing younger, instead of older.”
“My year of birth was 1955.” The civil servant announced in a mocking tone. With grey hair and many facial wrinkles, his physical appearance exactly matched his 55 years of age. “And you are NOT fifteen years older than I am. So let’s get to the real truth of this situation.”
“The honest truth is exactly as I’ve said. You can look into my tax records or you can have the police fingerprint me and compare the result against any government files you can drag up. I was born in 1940 and I am currently seventy years of age.”
“You didn’t invent the secret of immortality.” The pension official scoffed. “I should think that such a discovery, if proven, would’ve made an international news splash. I don’t recall hearing anything about it in 1985 or since.”
“I didn’t seek any publicity and I didn’t care if anyone verified my results or not.”
“Right.” The disbelieving government man said in a sarcastic voice. “So you actually are seventy and you fully expect me NOT to cancel your old age security benefits?”
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“Correct.”
“And I suppose your cute wife over there,” with a nod he indicated a young woman in the waiting area, “is fast approaching sixty-five?”
“My girlfriend there is twenty-two. My wife passed away awhile before I uncovered the secret of Nicholas Flamel’s philosopher stone.”
“Does she know that you’re seventy?”
“Absolutely.” The young looking old man smiled. “She appreciates my maturity and experience, while still being able to enjoy the physicality and vitality of my second twenties.”
“Philosopher’s Stone and Nicholas Flamel?” The scoffing of a minute ago had been replaced with a pang of envy: whether the old-age pension claimant was 25 or 70, that girl was certainly a knockout. “You’ve obviously been to a Harry Potter movie.”
“JK Rowling didn’t invent either the name of Nicholas Flamel or the philosopher’s stone idea. Nicholas was an alchemist born in 1330 and he returned to his youth after learning of the philosopher’s stone from an ancient manuscript.”
“And I suppose you know this for a fact.”
Definitely. Nicholas Flamel is a friend of mine. He contacted me after he deduced that someone else had achieved his eternal youth secret. Nick is a cool old guy, who looks like he is twenty. He thought it was hilarious that he was immortalized, off camera, in the movies. But the author has no clue that Flamel really is still alive.”
“I suppose he collects an old-age pension too?” The bureaucrat jotted down the name: he would look it up in his files later.
“No. Nicholas is an alchemist. Whenever he needs money, he turns lead into gold.”
“Since you have his eternal youth secret, why doesn’t he give you the transmutation tips too? Then you wouldn’t need to keep your pension.”
“Nicholas has his thing and I have mine. When he was born, there wasn’t a public pension plan in place, so he needs to make gold. I paid years worth of exorbitant taxes to earn my retirement income, so I’ll use it for my ‘golden years’ and I’ll keep collecting it for a VERY long time.”
“Unless I stamp your file as a fraud and cancel it.”
Click Here to Build an Enduring Income
“On what grounds?” The young man asked in a resolute voice. “The proof of my age and even the ‘before’ and ‘after’ pictures are iron-clad in your department of motor vehicles. The stored license photos will show me growing older until 1985 and then progressively younger until my most recent one.”
“On grounds that I work for the Federal Government and can therefore do whatever I want to you and your case!”
“With impunity.” The young man added through pursed lips. He bit his tongue from saying what was really on his mind. ‘And that mentality is precisely why I haven’t shared the gift of eternal youth with everyone.’ “But that political superiority will not live on forever.”
“Your life won’t be much longer than mine.” The agent misconstrued the comment as personal instead of global. “How long do you have before a return to infancy?”
“Your facts all seem to come from fiction.” It was now the younger man’s turn for the mocking tone. “I’m not living a backwards life, as the ‘Curious Case of Benjamin Button’. I’ve rejuvenated as far as I want to, so I’ll stop using my philosopher stone. I’ll age normally until I choose to start growing younger again.”
“And then what?”
“I’ll make another philosopher stone.”
[Content protected for Chevron members only]
Do you want to Regain Youth & Return to Early Summer?
YES! Then Read On…
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Metaphysical Youth
You may have read Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone, or perhaps you’ve seen the movie. But did you know that neither Nicholas Flamel nor the philosopher stone were products of JK Rowling’s imagination? Nicholas Flamel was real and purportedly, so was his gaining eternal youth though use of philosopher stone. Did Nicholas Flamel gain eternal youth and eternal life by using the metaphysical Philosopher’s Stone?
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Are you interested in reading the Akashic Records?
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PS. I’ll keep this blog posted on the results I experience with my philosopher stone experimentation. (I had another post on this topic but deleted it because my tone wasn’t right.)