Russell Twyce

A very short truth or fiction story by Russell Twyce

“My government,” the left-wing political candidate, in a fictional land where truth in advertising laws had been expanded to include politics, shouted into a microphone, “will tax you unmercifully and hand your hard-earned money over to our campaign friends. We will enact some new legislation geared at further complicating average people’s lives with bureaucratic nonsense, but which will open up vast new revenue streams for lawyers.  I solemnly promise that I will engage in costly boondoggles for no purpose but my own enjoyment. During my time in power, I’ll attempt to seduce as many young political interns into my bed as possible.”

Yar! Get Rich like a Pirate!

The speech then droned on longer to outline more of the excesses and unacceptable behavior that we all strongly suspect is truly happening in the high seats of power. And then he passed the podium to his worthy opponent.[private_Chevron]

“My administration will sink to unheard of levels of depravity.”  The candidate of the moral right wing party began. “I personally have a case of penis narcissism of epic proportions. To fully indulge my lusts, I’ll hire a bevy of expensive prostitutes to be my personal assistants. I’ll spend so much on myself and in lucrative contracts of questionable value to my political friends that my tax department will need to be relentless in resupplying the nation’s coffers. I won’t pay the slightest attention to what political polls tell me that people really want.”

“My government will table bills in parliament that are infinitely more heinous than any that my opponent has outlined. And,” the right wing candidate continued but then turned to grin wickedly at the other participant in the debate, “I’ll rescind this foolishness of requiring any semblance truth in our stated political platforms!”

The election result was a landslide victory for the right wing because that leadership hopeful had astutely realized that the common people much prefer a fiction they can pretend to believe is truth, to the stark truth they would like to think was fiction.[/private_Chevron]